Jon Stewart on Trump’s sweeping bill: ‘What is Ice going to do when they have real money?’ | Late-night TV roundup

Late-night hosts delve into Donald Trump’s “huge, lovely invoice” and take into account his UFC proposal for subsequent Independence Day.The Each day ShowJon Stewart returned to The Each day Present following the Fourth of July vacation within the US, throughout which Congress and Trump handed the so-called “One Massive Lovely Invoice Act”. The laws will, amongst different issues, minimize $930bn from the Medicaid finances, thus placing 11 million prone to dropping their medical health insurance, finish Biden-era inexperienced power credit and minimize funding for 3 million children’ college lunches.“It’s numerous painful cuts on numerous weak populations,” Stewart summarized on Monday’s Each day Present. “However, to be honest, at the least America will lastly make a dent on the deficit.” Nicely, not fairly – Stewart then performed a information clip tallying the invoice’s enhance of $3.4tn to the deficit. “What the fuck?” he exclaimed. “You one way or the other managed to severely minimize the security web and increase the deficit. That’s spectacular. That’s a kind of, ‘Hey man, how did you acquire all that weight?’ ‘Ozempic.’ That’s one thing that’s exhausting to do!”“So despite the fact that a few of our nation’s most weak are taking a pay minimize, worry not,” he continued. “Different persons are getting a increase.” The brand new regulation consists of $150bn extra for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (Ice). “Are you telling me all this loopy shit that has been occurring is broke Ice?” Stewart puzzled, referring to the raids in Los Angeles that garnered widespread protests. “What’s Ice going to do once they have actual cash?”Although the brand new regulation represents what Stewart referred to as a “victory for Maga”, it additionally encapsulates “a ton of normal Washington bullshittery”. For example, “political hypocrisy”. “This invoice was 970 pages,” Stewart defined. “They jammed it by means of with barely any time to learn it. How did Republicans really feel about that when Democrats did it?” Stewart queued up a number of clips of Republican politicians criticizing Democrats for doing the identical factor.“When it occurs to them, it’s shoving it down their throats. It’s an outrage,” he mentioned. “However when it’s for Republicans it’s simply, ‘Come on, America. Chill out the glottis. Breathe by means of your nostril. It can all be over quickly.’”Moreover, the cuts depend on “this lazy, bullshit narrative that our funds are screwed due to how comfy we’ve made it for the poor”, Stewart fumed. “The issue in our nation isn’t the sliver of able-bodied folks which are one way or the other coasting on the unearned medical protection they could or could not use, however the tens of millions and tens of millions of individuals on this nation who work fucking full-time jobs and nonetheless want meals and medical help! That’s the system that’s damaged! Repair that system!”In sum, “this invoice is essentially the most fucked-up efficiency evaluation our nation might ever ship”, Stewart concluded. “It’s the federal government sitting us all down and telling us the place we’ve been irresponsible with the spending.”“Blaming migrants and the able-bodied poor is why Trump received this election,” he added. However “a system the place working folks battle a lot is why [Zohran] Mamdani received his election” within the Democratic main for mayor of New York. “And for all of the people who find themselves fearful about Mamdani’s socialist tendencies, guess what? He’s the best-case state of affairs as a result of this technique is just not sustainable. And if this doesn’t change, there’s gonna be extra drastic motion.”Jimmy Kimmel Dwell!And on Jimmy Kimmel Dwell!, Anthony Anderson crammed in for Kimmel as he continued his annual summer season break from internet hosting duties. Anderson acknowledged the Fourth of July, for which there’s “one true solution to have a good time independence: consuming 10,000 energy in a single sitting, then blowing your dick off with a firecracker”.“Talking of dicks,” he added, “Donald Trump was within the White Home this weekend,” the place he anticipated subsequent yr’s celebrations – for the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence – “within the largest and dumbest means potential”. Trump claimed that he would convey a UFC battle to the grounds of the White Home for a “full battle, like 25,000 folks”.“Sure UFC, which stands for ‘U fucking loopy?!’” Anderson laughed. However he really agreed with Trump. “There needs to be a UFC battle on the White Home – between Donald Trump and Elon Musk,” he quipped. “Golf Clubber Lang v the Ketamine Machine, bitch-slapping one another within the Octagon. Who’s with me?”