Stephen Colbert on Ghislaine Maxwell meeting with feds: ‘We know exactly what they talked about’ | Late-night TV roundup

Late-night hosts reacted to Donald Trump’s impromptu press convention on the White Home roof and Ghislaine Maxwell’s jail switch after assembly with the feds.Stephen Colbert“So usually nowadays, people, the information goes from silly to unhappy to sadly silly,” stated Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s Late Present. “However right now I’m pleased to report it’s simply plain dumb.” As a result of on Tuesday morning, Trump held an impromptu press convention from the White Home roof, prompting one reporter to shout: “Sir! Why are you on the roof?”“That’s not a query you hear requested of a world chief that always,” Colbert laughed. “It’s proper up there with ‘Your majesty! The place are your pants?’”Trump additionally seemed to be gesturing with hand alerts that Colbert translated to “Look, the Capitol dome is a D-cup.” One other reporter shouted at Trump: “What does that imply?”“Yeah, what does that imply?!” Colbert shouted towards a digicam perched on the prime of the Ed Sullivan Theater. “What does any of this imply? How are you the man in cost? Why do we now have to faux it’s regular when an previous man wanders round a roof and shouts at us?“No matter Trump climbs up on subsequent, he gained’t escape the Jeffrey Epstein story,” Colbert continued, turning to new developments within the unending saga of Trump’s former good friend and convicted intercourse offender. Just a few weeks in the past, Trump despatched his No 2 on the justice division, Todd Blanche – additionally his private legal professional within the Stormy Daniels hush-money trial – to go to Epstein’s former girlfriend and confederate Ghislaine Maxwell in jail. “Now, we don’t know precisely what they talked about,” stated Colbert, “however we all know precisely what they talked about,” as a result of Maxwell has now been moved to a minimum-security girls’s jail in Texas that’s been nicknamed “Membership Fed”.“It’s so bougie that inmates might take classes on international languages and gardening,” Colbert defined. “Properly, you already know what they are saying: in your first day in jail, you’ll stroll up straight to the most important man within the yard and say ‘Excusez-moi, avez-vous le mulch?’”The White Home has denied that its buying and selling favors with Maxwell, and demand she was moved as a consequence of “very actual and really credible threats on her life”, as a result of speaking to the feds made her a “snitch” to the opposite inmates. “Proper, as a result of everybody within the slammer is aware of: snitches get puppies,” Colbert quipped.Seth MeyersAnd on Late Evening, Seth Meyers famous that final week, Trump raised the tariff fee on Canadian items from 25% to 35%. “I suppose he can do this now we’re making Canadian tuxedos right here within the US,” Meyers joked subsequent to actor Sydney Sweeney in an all-denim outfit for her controversial American Eagle advert marketing campaign.In a brand new podcast interview, JD Vance defended Sweeney’s advert marketing campaign. “Look, I’m all for it if it means these dorks are going to start out dressing like that,” stated Meyers.Trump additionally spoke up in protection of Sweeney. On Reality Social, he stated: “Sydney Sweeney, a registered Republican, has the most popular advert on the market. It’s for American Eagle and the denims are flying off the cabinets! Go get ’em Sydney!”“Oh my God, there’s a present younger well-known one who votes Republican,” Meyers marveled. “I really feel so unhealthy for Child Rock proper now. You already know he’s getting left on learn this week.”And through a briefing final week, the White Home press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, stated that Trump had “a giant coronary heart”.“The technical time period is ‘enlarged’, stated his physician,” Meyers quipped.