Is anything more awkward – and potentially insulting – than giving up your seat on public transport? | Polly Hudson

It’s simple to leap to conclusions, particularly about human nature, significantly when your verdict is detrimental. However at times, all is just not because it appears. For instance, within the case of Celia Imrie, who just lately hosted the eightieth anniversary VJ Day commemoration on the Armed Forces Memorial in Staffordshire. King Charles and Queen Camilla had been in attendance, and he or she described the day as “extraordinary”. Sadly, the expertise was dampened considerably by her journey residence to London.“Now, I by no means make a fuss, however I needed to stand all the way in which again for two-and-a-half hours as a result of no one determined to surrender their seat,” the 73-year-old informed a latest interviewer. “I couldn’t consider it,” she stated, attributing this to being invisible to youthful generations, who don’t have any respect for his or her elders. “So in the event you’re asking me, do folks not likely discover you as you become old, I’m afraid I do discover that,” she continued. “Even simply strolling on the road, you’re not envisioned. It’s actually bizarre. I put on a brilliant coat.”By no means thoughts the coat, Imrie additionally has a particularly recognisable face, which has been gracing screens massive and small for many years. So fame opens doorways, however doesn’t present seating?This isn’t a story of younger folks missing esteem for the extra mature members of society, although. It’s a matter of potential awkwardness. The etiquette of when to supply your seat on public transport is a number of the most complex we’re pressured to navigate – most likely worldwide, however positively in Britain, the place most of us are simply mortified, and will then be trapped collectively, at the very least till the subsequent cease, to endure the aftermath. If you consider that it should be finished in full view of quite a few spectators, no surprise so many commuters fake to not discover who’s standing close to them. Make a mistaken provide and also you’ve insulted a stranger, to their face, in entrance of a reside viewers. You’ll carry the disgrace with you for ever, on some degree, as anyone who has had their Good Samaritan second ruined by the reply “I’m not really pregnant, thanks very a lot” can attest.Let’s agree from the off that those that select precedence seats (those clearly marked for folks with a higher want to take a seat down), after which go to sleep or change into engrossed of their telephone/e-book/ideas, are absolutely the worst. When you sit there, you’re getting into into an ethical contract. With nice consolation comes nice accountability. You’re duty-bound to observe your environment, and leap up if the necessity arises.If a precedence seat holder makes a fallacious name, and affords their seat to somebody who didn’t really need it, it’s solely half as embarrassing as an ordinary seat holder doing it; they’ll nonetheless be self-conscious and scarlet-cheeked, after all, however consoled by being inherently noble and on the proper aspect of public transport historical past.Just lately, I noticed a person quit his seat in a particularly misguided try at a meet-cute. He was clearly attempting to be chivalrous as a result of the girl in query was very enticing, and clearly nowhere close to seat-requiring age, however she was visibly horrified. She did settle for, however most likely solely so she may have her palms free to Google facelifts. As a relationship technique, this was imaginative and courageous, however ought to be averted in any respect prices – even by an actual standup man, in both or each senses.Opinion varies on what number of birthdays a fellow passenger will need to have celebrated to be deemed seat-worthy, however in need of asking to see their ID, there’s no approach of being sure they’ve reached that milestone, and the potential for offending is excessive. The practice monitor to hell is laid with good intentions – you could genuinely imply “Please do sit down, I care about your wellbeing,” however they may hear “You’re historical, or chubby, or maybe each.”In a nutshell, it’s important to be fairly assured of the info earlier than you dare open your mouth. If Imrie is concerned by ageing, she ought to take the dearth of affords she acquired as a praise, albeit an uncomfortable one.