Melissa Leong: ‘Life is not easy. Life is ugly and hard and unpredictable’ | Australian lifestyle

At residence in Melbourne’s Carlton North, Melissa Leong is feeling apprehensive. She’s getting ready to spend the day speaking about her new memoir, Guts, which reveals private struggles she has by no means earlier than spoken about publicly.“This half – laying your self naked, so to talk, a number of occasions a day – is difficult,” she says. “It’s mentally difficult. It’s emotionally difficult.”The previous MasterChef choose and Dessert Masters host describes herself as an introvert, a non-public one that likes to retreat and get well after a day on set. In her memoir, Leong has discovered a approach to stability that want for privateness with being susceptible. She shares her battles with despair and anxiousness, bouts of loneliness whereas filming MasterChef, and her experiences of bulimia, self-harm and sexual violence.A operating thread is Leong’s propensity for “blowing up” her life. She writes about leaving a safe job to dwell on a sheep dairy in Tasmania, and her divorce. “I’ve turn into a little bit of an skilled at it,” she writes, although she’s cautious of encouraging others to do the identical.“If you’re going to push the massive purple button, you do must be ready for some fallout, as a result of it’s inherently a egocentric factor,” Leong says. “And once I say egocentric, I don’t imply egocentric in a foul manner.“There are specific issues we’ve got come to understand, as girls, that we are able to do and have for ourselves and our mates that don’t contain subscribing to societal norms.”‘I’ve met lots of people which have tried to set me again, and that’s OK as a result of resistance offers you one thing tangible to push in opposition to.’ {Photograph}: Charlie Kinross/The GuardianLeong says she shut herself away to jot down about what felt true to her, together with her childhood within the predominantly white suburb of Cronulla, Sydney, within the 80s; how continual ache halted a promising musical profession (she began enjoying the piano aged three); her work as a make-up artist; quitting her first company job and breaking into the – surprisingly hostile on the time – world of meals writing.“There’s a bit of sweetness in operating your individual race, rising triumphant, and realising that everyone who didn’t imagine you can do it’s simply manner again there,” Leong says. “I’ve met lots of people which have tried to set me again and that’s OK as a result of resistance offers you one thing tangible to push in opposition to.”The 43-year-old known as her e book Guts as a result of she wished the title to precise visceral discomfort. “Life is just not simple. Life is ugly and laborious and unpredictable, and sometimes lower than best, and I preferred that in a single syllable you’ve got this phrase that’s loaded.”She’s buoyed up by others within the trade who’ve written memoirs, together with Kumi Taguchi, whom she met throughout her time at SBS as a choose on The Chef’s Line, which she calls “MasterChef with coaching wheels”. She feels she’s in good firm alongside girls telling advanced tales. “Having individuals like Kumi on my facet and in my nook have helped galvanise me.”Leong writes that she has come to simply accept she was raped roughly 15 years in the past. She doesn’t identify the perpetrator however she hopes that sharing her story would possibly assist others.“The actual configuration of experiences I’ve had are mine however these are issues which have occurred to our mates, sisters, moms, cousins.“I share these items as a result of I do know that they’re not distinctive to me, and so if I can articulate them in a manner that possibly another person can’t articulate but to themselves, if which means they really feel much less alone, then that’s successful to me.”Internet hosting UFC Combat Week ‘was as far in the wrong way as I might think about’. {Photograph}: Charlie Kinross/The GuardianNow Leong is unapologetic about prioritising herself, “as a result of for almost all of my life I’ve been a people-pleaser”.“I’ve wished to make different individuals round me glad to the detriment of my well being, my wealth and myself, actually.”She jokes about not understanding if it’s age or perimenopause, however “if one of many side-effects is that I give much less fucks, then I don’t care”.skip previous e-newsletter promotionSign as much as Saved for LaterCatch up on the enjoyable stuff with Guardian Australia’s tradition and life-style rundown of popular culture, traits and tipsPrivacy Discover: Newsletters could include details about charities, on-line advertisements, and content material funded by outdoors events. Should you wouldn’t have an account, we are going to create a visitor account for you on theguardian.com to ship you this article. You may full full registration at any time. For extra details about how we use your knowledge see our Privateness Coverage. We use Google reCaptcha to guard our web site and the Google Privateness Coverage and Phrases of Service apply.after e-newsletter promotionLeong endured criticism from the second she was introduced as the primary feminine MasterChef choose in 2020. Within the aftermath of her cohost Jock Zonfrillo’s dying in 2023, she was additional criticised for selecting to grieve privately. In Guts, Leong describes MasterChef as “a set of golden handcuffs” – directly an amazing alternative and in addition limiting.“I’m actually pleased with the time I put in; I discovered lots, I grew lots, however I additionally simply as equally wished to proceed shifting, in order that the expectations individuals had for me weren’t in a position to atrophy round me.”After internet hosting two seasons of Dessert Masters, Leong took an surprising pivot to internet hosting UFC Combat Week. “It was as far in the wrong way as I might think about,” she says.She’s an enormous fan of combined martial arts and is about 18 months into jiujitsu coaching, working in direction of a 3rd stripe on her white belt. “It’s the best mixture of human intuition and demanding considering. Plus, it’s an important exercise. Should you’re harassed, getting actually sweaty and exhausted a few occasions every week is kind of good, for me anyway.”Leong has additionally completed filming a brand new present in New Zealand known as Style of Artwork, with the Amisfield govt chef, Vaughan Mabee. Although the present is “again on the earth of meals – and studios and clothes and advantageous eating,” she hopes viewers will see an evolution in her profession.She’s additionally on screens now as a contestant in The Superb Race Australia: Celeb Version, swapping designer clothes and heels for tie-dye T-shirts and trainers. It’s been “fairly releasing” to relinquish management and be on the whim of actuality TV’s gameplan, she says. “With the ability to simply belief was a beautiful train for me. I’m an enormous subscriber to: simply signal on to each expertise life gives you.“I believe we study lots about ourselves by being uncomfortable. And never all of these classes are tender, fluffy, type, good issues however they’re nonetheless extremely helpful.”This philosophy helped with sharing the darker elements of her life in Guts. Any doubts have been “overshadowed by the reality”, she says. “If I’m going to inform my story then I’m going to inform my story. I can’t sugar-coat the less-than-ideal issues which have occurred to me.“These are issues which have very a lot formed me within the selections I’ve made in my life. The previous couple of years have been lots about survival and never a lot else, if I’m trustworthy. However I sit right here now actually pleased with what I’ve been in a position to accomplish.”