My petty gripe: I don’t begrudge your coffee addiction – but do you have to be such a bore about it? | Coffee

I get it: you actually like espresso. And you’ve got an habit. I’m not judging that. You’re beholden to Massive Bean, hopelessly hooked on the world’s most consumed psychotropic drug. However, err, do it’s a must to be such a bore about it?Does it really want a point out in your relationship profile, as if a keenness for decent brown liquid is a character trait?Is a espresso not actually a espresso until it’s conjured from scratch by a barista? And do you actually should be such a grump within the morning in case you don’t get it?Must you actually be entitled to an additional hour’s work break so you’ll be able to stand in a prolonged cafe queue each morning and afternoon? (Earlier than you delay one more work assembly in favour of a protracted caffeine-foraging mission, let me introduce you to the workplace espresso machine and – don’t give me that look – this jar of on the spot espresso.)Positive, you need an excuse to gossip together with your colleagues*, get some contemporary air, get your day by day steps in or go away your lonely work-from-home station to have the one in-person interplay you’ll have all day. All very worthy causes.However then on the weekend you’ll make me tag together with you when you seek for one other overpriced cafe espresso simply 20 minutes after you imbibed the primary as a result of the milk within the first cup of joe was under-steamed and also you merely can’t proceed together with your day till you’ve overridden that abomination with a top quality flat white.Or on our tenting journey you’ll snub the moka pot-brewed campfire espresso and soar in your automotive and drive out of the wilderness to the closest city to purchase an artisanal lengthy black in a takeaway cup. Ready so that you can return out of your one-and-a-half-hour spherical journey ate up most of our valuable morning, Peter!Granted, I don’t know a lot about latte artwork, however I do know swans belong at liberty on shimmering lakes, not confined atop your morning beverage.Because the world descends deeper into financial hardship, environmental doom and the clutches of authoritarian nutjobs, espresso snobbery inexplicably endures and strengthens, like cockroaches after the apocalypse.Apologies if I sound a bit bitter, drained and irritable, as if I’ve a light headache approaching. Maybe a shot of single-origin regionally roasted ristretto will type me out.* This text doesn’t replicate any of my Guardian Australia colleagues – I love you all