Seth Meyers on Donald Trump: ‘His brain is total mush’ | Late-night TV roundup

Late-night hosts reply to Donald Trump’s rooftop press convention and different distractions from Texas Republicans’ try and rig the midterm elections.Seth Meyers“Texas Republicans have triggered a nationwide uproar with their plan to rig the 2026 midterms by redrawing their congressional maps,” stated Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s Late Evening. “Additionally, the president was seen wandering round on the roof of the White Home. And therein lies the fixed stress of the Trump period: Republicans doing one thing nefarious that may undermine democracy, whereas the president does one thing bizarre and dumb that distracts us.”“And it’s not like you may ignore it,” he added. “If the president pops up on the roof of the White Home, out of nowhere, that’s at the least price a point out on the information. I imply, if Obama had been caught climbing out a window in the course of the evening, I’m fairly positive Fox Information would’ve coated it.”All in all: “An excessive amount of is occurring, and it’s unimaginable for our brains to soak up all of it.”Meyers began with Trump’s rooftop convention on Tuesday. “OK, what, and I imply this as exhaustedly as doable, the fuck?” he puzzled. “This appears to be like like a type of human curiosity tales the place firefighters should rescue a canine that received caught on the roof.”Meyers theorized that Trump, together with his approval ranking now at an all-time low, went on the roof as a result of “he can’t reply your questions if he can’t hear them. If his ballot numbers get any worse, he’s going to start out doing press conferences on high of the Washington monument.”Fortunately, “a crew of firefighters did ultimately lure the president down from the roof with a Large Mac on a string”, Meyers joked. Later within the day, the president attended an occasion concerning the 2028 Olympics in California. “And in the event you thought wandering round on the roof is likely to be a warning signal about his psychological competency, his rant about California wildfires made clear: his mind is whole mush.”Trump’s rant talked about the Pacific Ocean, a tiny fish known as the “smelt”, the Pacific north-west releasing the “full complement of water” to California and, after all, Gavin Newsom. (Opposite to what Trump implied, there isn’t any water provide from the Pacific north-west that connects to California.) “What does he imply?” Meyers puzzled, earlier than proposing his idea: “Trump thinks water flows from the north to the south … In Trump’s thoughts, the north a part of the state is actually increased up within the air than the south.”It’s a idea that tracks with Trump’s basic understanding of the world. Or, as Meyers put it, “he doesn’t perceive gravity or, like, maps”.Stephen Colbert“I do know that Trump’s followers get a number of grief from individuals going, ‘Oh, you don’t consider in something, it’s a cult of persona, blah blah blah,’” stated Stephen Colbert on The Late Present. “However I wish to be honest right here – there may be one factor that Maga has believed from the start they usually nonetheless consider it. And that’s that there’s a secret cabal of high authorities officers who meet at shadowy dinners to strategize the best way to cover the sins of rich intercourse traffickers and pedophiles.“They do consider that, and for that, I’ve by no means criticized them,” he continued. “As a result of I’m positive that form of stuff does go on. As an example, tonight in Washington,” the place high Trump officers gathered to debate the president’s technique for dealing with the scandal over his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, at a dinner hosted by JD Vance.“Now look, many issues are stunning about that headline,” stated Colbert. “To start with, this Epstein disaster has made Trump officers so determined, they’re prepared to hang around with JD Vance.”Along with Vance, the dinner reportedly included the White Home chief of employees, Susie Wiles; the US legal professional basic, Pam Bondi; the deputy legal professional basic, Todd Blanche; and the FBI director, Kash Patel. CNN was the primary to report the assembly, which Vance’s workplace then denied. “Now they’re masking up the cover-up!” Colbert fumed. “That is worse than a conspiracy. It’s a quilt.”“Dinner or no dinner, the Eyes Vast Shut supper nonetheless has to determine what to do with the transcript of the Ghislaine Maxwell interview,” Colbert continued. Ever since Blanche met with Maxwell, serving a 20-year sentence for sex-trafficking minors, the justice division has been digitizing, transcribing and redacting the interview supplies. “Oh, I guess they’ve!” Colbert laughed. “‘Let’s see, control-F, discover Donald Trump … exchange with Gayle King.’“As they redacted the reality right into a shallow grave,” he added, Trump officers are contemplating releasing the interview, though they’re reportedly involved that making particulars of it public would convey the Epstein controversy again to the floor. “Again to the floor?!” Colbert laughed. “It’s approach above the floor, man! This controversy is all the best way up on the roof!”“All the pieces about this story is as shady as a cave,” he concluded. Maxwell was transferred to a cushier jail in Texas, and now sources are saying that she instructed the justice division that Trump by no means did something regarding round her. “Nicely, he’s within the clear!” Colbert mocked. “Good work, gentleman! I do know all of us had our suspicions, however the convicted intercourse trafficker of underage ladies didn’t see something that involved her. No pink flags for Ghislaine throughout her decade-long profession of underage intercourse trafficking. She stated proper right here within the transcript: ‘What was Donald Trump doing with Jeffrey Epstein? Nothing that involved me, Ghislaine Maxwell, intercourse trafficker. I might’ve performed what he did. Nicely, again to my regular non-concerning workaday grindstone … of intercourse trafficking.’”