Stephen Colbert on falling vaccine rates: ‘What other scientific advances are people going to toss out?’ | Late-night TV roundup

Whereas ABC pulled Jimmy Kimmel from the air “indefinitely” over feedback on Charlie Kirk, the opposite late-night hosts talked Robert F Kennedy’s vaccine chaos and Kash Patel’s disastrous listening to on Capitol Hill.Stephen ColbertStephen Colbert opened Wednesday’s monologue with an announcement from Pam Bondi, the US legal professional basic, that within the wake of the Charlie Kirk killing, the justice division would goal hate speech. “And conservatives weren’t thrilled by this information,” stated Colbert. The conservative commentator Brit Hume posted on X: “Somebody wants to elucidate to Ms Bondi that so-called ‘hate speech,’ repulsive although it could be, is protected by the First Modification. She ought to know this.”“Sure, the founders wished even repulsive speech protected,” the Late Present host joked. “That’s why Ben Franklin wrote: ‘There is no such thing as a such factor as public liberty with out freedom of speech. Hey, James Madison, the canine pound referred to as, they caught your spouse once more. Growth! Ya simply received Frankl’d.’”Colbert then pivoted to falling childhood vaccination charges throughout the US. “Now we have efficiently cured a myriad of childhood illnesses and we’re simply deciding to not use it any extra,” he stated. “What different scientific advances are individuals going to toss out subsequent? ‘I’ve accomplished my very own analysis, thanks, and I’m not comfy letting my youngsters use ‘the wheel’. Earlier than they go away for varsity on an ox-drawn sledge, I all the time remind them: hearth dangerous!’”Colbert blamed, partly, Robert F Kennedy Jr, the well being and human companies secretary, who has “thrown our public well being businesses into full chaos, forcing out profession well being specialists”.To wit, the Senate heard testimony from the lately fired head of the Facilities for Illness Management and Prevention (CDC), Susan Monarez, who stated that Kennedy referred to as Trump every single day to speak about altering the childhood vaccine schedule. “He referred to as the president every single day?” Colbert exclaimed, imagining such a cellphone name: “Bobby, why are you calling the president of america at 4 o’clock within the morning? I’m busy tweeting an AI video of me as a speaking child preventing a lion that’s on hearth.”The Each day Present“President Trump nonetheless can’t shake the Jeffrey Epstein scandal, so this week Congress heard testimony from Kash Patel,” stated Desi Lydic on the Each day Present. “And if I do know something about Kash Patel, it’s that he can easy every thing over.”Lydic then reduce to a number of clips of the embattled FBI director entering into shouting matches with a number of lawmakers on Capitol Hill over his refusal to launch the Epstein information. One requested: “Why are you defending pedophiles?” To which Patel replied: “That’s perhaps probably the most offensive factor you may say to me.”“That’s perhaps probably the most offensive factor you may say to me?” Lydic laughed. “Patel is like, hear, there’s quite a bit you possibly can say about me – like I’m the one one that seems dumber sporting glasses, or how I solely received this job as a result of Trump thought I used to be Dinesh D’Souza. However I virtually felt dangerous for Patel. He needed to convincingly fake that his boss had nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein, and he was not up for the duty.”As an illustration, Patel repeatedly stated he didn’t know what number of instances Trump’s title appeared within the information, but in addition dismissed sure numbers out of hand. Requested if it was 1,000 or 500 instances, Patel stated: “I don’t know, however it’s not that.”“Yeah, yeah, it’s not that,” Lydic joked, mimicking Patel. “Everybody simply must relax, OK? The president’s title seems within the pedophile intercourse crime report a traditional variety of instances: someplace between one and ‘hey, look over there!’”Seth MeyersAnd on Late Night time, Seth Meyers famous that Trump thinks firms shouldn’t be compelled to report earnings each quarter. “Or as NBC is hoping, ever?” he joked of his personal community.Kathy Hochul, the governor of New York, introduced that this was the most secure summer time on the New York Metropolis subways in no less than 15 years, “as a result of you possibly can’t get mugged on a practice that by no means reveals up”, Meyers quipped.In accordance with a brand new report from the Wall Road Journal, poisonous fumes are leaking into airplanes and making passengers and crew sick, “although in case you’re flying Spirit, they’re blissful to crack a window”, Meyers joked.In a latest put up on Fact Social, Trump praised his son Eric for his new e book, Beneath Siege: My Household’s Battle to Save Our Nation, which allegedly hit No 1 for memoirs on Amazon. “So congratulations to the e book’s writer,” Meyers stated subsequent to the brand for ChatGPT.And the previous MMA fighter Conor McGregor introduced this week that he had withdrawn from the Irish presidential race after “cautious reflection”. “Or because it’s identified in Eire: sobering up,” stated Meyers.