The moment I knew: I felt a pang of fear – but I knew we were an unbeatable duo | Relationships

Lengthy earlier than we’d met, I had heard loads a few man referred to as Tom Field. I knew he was an Australian dwelling within the South Island of New Zealand. I used to be in Wellington, and there’d been just a few events once I’d travelled to the South Island for raves or anarchist conferences the place a few of the of us had gone to Tom’s place – however I splintered off someplace else.Then at some point, in 2007, I used to be at a punk gig when a mutual buddy mentioned, “Oh, have you learnt Tom Field? He’s over there. He’s simply moved as much as Wellington.” There in a sea of black-clad punks, leaping up and down on the entrance of the mosh pit, was this man in a pale blue Star Trek uniform. To me, as an individual unfamiliar with Star Trek, he appeared like he was carrying pyjamas. This was my first imaginative and prescient of him, however we didn’t speak in any respect that evening.Kate and Tom on the Physician Who Worlds of Surprise Exhibition in Wellington, 2024.A while later I used to be dwelling in a squat and dealing as a theatre set designer. I’d made this set that had gameshow podiums in it, however they appeared a bit like Daleks. One other buddy noticed them and mentioned his housemate, who was obsessive about Physician Who, would love them. It turned out his housemate was Tom.They lived across the nook, so, hoping to catch his consideration, I drew a poster saying “Free to a very good dwelling, one thing vaguely resembling a Dalek!” I included my cellphone quantity and caught it outdoors what I assumed was his flat. A few week handed and I hadn’t heard something. Then I realised I’d caught it up within the flawed alleyway, so I moved it and inside 24 hours I had a chew.Texts began flowing in and so they obtained bizarre fairly shortly. He was initially involved that I is perhaps somebody dodgy attempting to lure him in with a Dalek. Tom has a barely filthy sense of humour, which I discover very entertaining, so as soon as I had affirmation from a mutual buddy that the texter was certainly him, I used to be joyful to maintain up the banter.Ultimately, we met up, and he wasn’t satisfied my set items appeared very like a Dalek. We had a cup of tea and determined we must always preserve hanging out. Our first few dates have been pool, pinball and curler disco outings. Typically, we’d play doubles at pool and could be so on fireplace nobody may beat us.The couple carrying Star Trek uniforms at dwelling with Esmerelda, additionally wearing a Star Trek onesie, 2011.I step by step began spending extra time at his place and, ultimately, when a room turned obtainable in his flat, I moved in.I’d had plenty of brief relationships earlier than assembly Tom however I all the time knew they’d their limits. With Tom, one thing felt totally different. It was as if we’d been on the identical path the entire time – like we’d all the time been heading in direction of this second. However this revelation was not with out anguish. I’d come out of a relationship with a girl – my first of this nature – and was desperate to discover extra.I keep in mind sitting on the again porch of my squat feeling a pang of concern that my life would by no means be the identical once more – however I already knew we have been an unbeatable duo. In that means, assembly Tom was joyous and just a little unhappy, as a result of it meant my future experiences with ladies is perhaps over. It additionally marked the top of my squat life – no lease, no payments, carefree days – and all of the sudden I wanted a correct job to fund my new “lavish” way of life of eating out with Tom!Proper from the get-go we all the time loved dressing up collectively. Tom loves the gender-bending points of a few of the costumes. We began an annual calendar of photographs of Tom dressed as varied masked characters we’ve created. We’d go on highway journeys ready to leap out if we noticed the best alternative, corresponding to a derelict home for Creepy Bunny, or some farm equipment for Pigeon Head.Tom is a gardener, at dwelling and at work, and does a whole lot of onerous yakka that I actually admire and respect, regenerating the native bush for the birds and bugs. In his previous he was a forest blockader and, having been to a couple blockades myself, I understood the dangers and significance of such a activism. His look after nature may be very deep, and I like and respect that significantly. Tom has an amazing ethical compass, too, and is all the time an exquisite sounding board.We’ve been collectively for 18 years now. I work within the movie trade so, whereas I’m galavanting across the nation working, Tom retains the house fires burning. We purchased a home, had just a few cats – sadly misplaced just a few, too. We’ve each realized to take pleasure in time aside however love coming again collectively once more, occurring adventures and our beautiful life collectively.Inform us the second you knewShare your experienceShare your love storyDo you’ve got a romantic realisation you’d prefer to share? From quiet home scenes to dramatic revelations, Guardian Australia desires to listen to concerning the second you knew you have been in love. Your responses, which could be nameless, are safe as the shape is encrypted and solely the Guardian has entry to your contributions. We’ll solely use the info you present us for the aim of the characteristic and we’ll delete any private information after we not require it for this function. For alternative routes to get in contact securely please see our suggestions information.Present extra