The one change that worked: I gave away my last dress – and embraced the real me | Fashion

A couple of yr in the past, once I was packing to maneuver to a brand new flat, I removed the one gown I owned. Earlier than that, I hadn’t realised I used to be down to only the one. I knew I hardly ever reached for attire and skirts any extra, both in outlets or in my wardrobe. And I had already taken the step of binning the unloved tangle of tights in my sock drawer. However the transfer to sporting solely trousers had been gradual. Just a few months in the past, I even shocked myself when my computerized response to somebody’s query about my outfit was a relaxed and assured: “I’m not likely a gown particular person.”Nevertheless it’s true, I’ve realised. I’m simply not. That final gown – a easy black midi that represented the little black gown that 00s magazines taught me all ladies ought to have – had solely been worn a handful of instances. So on to the charity store pile it went.Although I used to be by no means a type of kids who had tantrums when a guardian insisted they wore a gown, I wasn’t a naturally “girly” woman both. I used to be forged as Joseph in my first ever nativity play, at a combined gender nursery. After I began faculty and needed to put on a skirt as a part of my uniform, my reception trainer used to say “woman Lucy” throughout classes to remind me to take a seat with my legs collectively. And, in a single photograph of a childhood fancy gown occasion, I’m pictured standing proudly behind the opposite little women, who’re all sporting princess attire, with my arms outstretched, inexplicably dressed as a crow.I lastly felt assured about ‘not being a gown particular person’ … Lucy Knight, pictured in 2015. {Photograph}: Courtesy of Lucy KnightWhen I got here out as homosexual in my late teenagers, it had a liberating impact on my trend decisions – I now not felt a must appear to be a stereotypical straight girl – but it surely additionally got here with its personal pressures. Feedback like “simply since you’re a lesbian it doesn’t imply it’s a must to appear to be a person” scared me off presenting in a extra androgynous method for some time. And I knew I didn’t actually match into both “butch” or “femme” categorisations.However little by little, as I’ve experimented and located the garments I really feel most myself in, I’ve discovered that not being a “gown particular person” is what appears to work for me. It could take a bit extra effort to search out the suitable outfit, particularly for formal occasions. I agonised over what to put on for an uber-fancy marriage ceremony final yr, for instance, for which the gown code was floor-length robes and tuxedos (I ended up going for a satin swimsuit). However I’ve discovered that, so long as you’ve got made an effort to look good, folks don’t appear to thoughts whether or not you’ve adopted the gown code to the letter.I don’t need to faux that trying extra clearly queer is all sunshine and roses in as we speak’s political local weather – I’ve skilled a rise in homophobic harassment in recent times. And I actually hope all of the noise about who ought to be allowed through which loos doesn’t cease folks dressing in gender non-conforming methods – as a result of, once I’m sporting a killer swimsuit, I really feel as if I can do something, and no one ought to be intimidated out of experiencing that.In ditching attire for good, I’ve discovered to like my childhood self, who confidently picked out that crow costume. Not as a result of it was look (it actually wasn’t) however as a result of that little woman didn’t care about being completely different, or about trying the best way a woman is “supposed” to look. I feel I’ve been discovering my method again to her ever since. Do you’ve got an opinion on the problems raised on this article? If you want to submit a response of as much as 300 phrases by e mail to be thought of for publication in our letters part, please click on right here.